Empathy and festivity: Why this Christmas uniquely needs more empathy than ever

There is more that connects these two words than the fact that they rhyme. Christmas is the most anticipated time of the year for so many families but with this special time comes a unique set of emotions and relationship realities.  It is this once-a-year occasion that drives our need for more empathy than at any other point in the year – for ourselves and for each other. 

Often mistaken as an ability, we are born with more or less of, empathy is actually a pro-social skillset that we all possess in order to be able to connect to those around us. It is a neurological skillset and not a mindset. At this time of year, as we share our humility and compassion with others, it is our ability to deeply understand the perspectives of others that allows us to gain both strength and unity. So how do you ensure that you are getting it right? Read on below as global expert Mimi Nicklin shares her top tips for harmony and understanding as the holidays roll out.

Five habits for higher levels of empathy this festive period:

• Be patient and present with your extended family this Christmas:

Your in-laws, your neighbours and even strangers who need a friendly face and might be celebrating alone – whoever you connect with, make those people you speak to feel like they are the only person in the room. Phrases like “what I’m hearing you say is….” make the speaker feel encouraged and understood, as well as ensuring you can really hear what is being communicated to you. Listen up, listen in and try to blur out some of the background noise so you can really connect as people.

• Smile more: 

It’s easy to smile lots when things are going well but when tension rises, try to remember that the majority of our communication is nonverbal so being conscious of your body language promotes calmer and connection around you. Lean inward and ensure your body language is open – with uncrossed arms and an encouraging smile and eye contact. These small changes to your stance will go a great distance to creating cohesion between the people in the conversation, whatever the topic.

• Tune in to people as well as the Christmas tunes:

We are naturally wired to empathise, both for individual and group success, and yet so often we spend our time with a group of people, in a shared physical environment, but barely connecting beyond the topic at hand. This Christmas take an active focus to connect with the feelings and emotions of those around you with a more committed approach to imagining how they feel. Focus on asking questions and really hearing the answers rather than jumping into giving advice. This will help all of us gain insight into the other person’s reality and ensure we listen to truly understand, and not just to reply.

• Tone down the $$ and turn up the memories: 

Our best memories come from the heart and not from the wallet. Let’s focus on our shared experience beyond the gifts and investments we make for the big day.  Creating memories can link to the things we read, the stories we create, the films we share or the music we dance to. Specifically, we know that reading drives our empathy up and allows us (and our kids) to tune into the realities of others in a deeper way. 

• Be kind:

Kindness is the response with which we react to empathy. Once you have understood another, choose kindness above all else. It’s been a long 11 months for many people and a little more kindness, a little more often will take us a long way to showing our shared understanding and connection to those around us. 

Just like Tiny Tim in the famous festive story, A Christmas Carol, let’s focus on empathy and friendship above all else this year – however challenging that might be in any given tense festive moment. Tiny Tim managed to turn old Scrooge and get him to feel optimism and empathy, giving the old humbug a second chance at life, so let’s connect together and give Christmas 2024 its chance to shine. 

(The writer is a Bestselling Author, an Award-Winning Empathy Advocate, and a CEO with over 16, 500 students all over the world. She has recently won the Top 45, Under 45 Leadership Award in Sri Lanka and she specialises in improving dialogue, performance and engagement in forward-thinking organisations. She is the Founder of Empathy Everywhere, the world’s most extensive training platform to use social intelligence and team communication to drive transformational change. Her podcast, The MiMiYouYou, is growing at over 800% a month and her second leadership book will be out in early 2025. You can find her @miminicklin across social media or via www.empathyeverywhere.co.)