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Sunday Oct 06, 2024
Friday, 20 December 2013 00:00 - - {{hitsCtrl.values.hits}}
The event oddly is called Voet lights. A more self-conscious temperament would have gone for something like Voet devotees or even Voet wannabes. But here in the land of nothing but the best, they will have none if not ‘lights,’ in other words, points of illumination, that is what they are!
Perfect harmony at the bar
Predictably, the function starts with cocktails during which there is perfect harmony at the bar. Dimly lit, the function area is ideal for consultations in which the parties wish to remain anonymous. Since everybody is in dark suits, the solemn uniform of the lawyers, it will be virtually impossible to conduct an identification parade post facto to charge those present for obvious misdemeanours.
The brief for the day, obviously, is to drink the bar dry. On this matter one need not teach the gentry in black coat to suck eggs. While some gulp down their Black Label whisky with a squirt of soda, most seem to think it criminal to dilute such good stuff.
Voet would be verily excited by the bevy of female admirers he has acquired in this little island in the Indian Ocean. Draped in shimmering saris of their land, these gentle devotees of the great Hollander glide through the throng with an air of susceptibility, evoking protective instincts in the stout hearts of their male counterparts. So the men keep a concerned eye on the present day Portias, but are not overly distracted from the mission of consuming all the good stuff so freely flowing.
Outstanding wits
As the evening progresses the intellectual quality of the conversation assumes truly Voetian proportions. Hardly anybody notices the valiant efforts of the chamber orchestra. Opinions, usually an expensive commodity in this milieu, flow thick and furious.
Judging from the raucous laughter emanating from the many circles of lawyers on the floor, there are some outstanding wits present. The celebrations proceed smoothly, with drinks, eats and reputations demolished with abandon.
When the drinks become increasingly hard to find and all the ‘bites’ consumed, the gong announces dinner, almost creating a stampede. This is no dignified ceremonial sitting. These legal eagles are acquainted with life in this island too well to chance an orderly entry to the dining hall. In the hurly-burly of Hulftsdorp, the early bird catches the worm. Why should it be different tonight?
Dinner time
The legal eagles, now merry, move noisily towards the banquet hall obviously anticipating the impending meal with relish. Menu cards placed stylishly on the tables promise a repast worthy of august epicureans.
Cutlery, neatly arranged, warns of a structured meal. The first-timers excitedly sit down to what they expect to be a memorable repast made up of tastefully selected food, good wine, entertaining conversation and scintillating speeches. The old hands, too jaded to be concerned about such trivialities, occupy themselves in the learned pursuit of comparing the relative merits of Voet the Holland with that of Johnny Walker of Scottish fame.
Having waited impatiently for the meal to begin, the busy practitioners of the law attack the food with an appreciative violence, which would surely warm the heart of the overworked and underappreciated chef.
Some activist types, who have been complaining about law’s delays, set an example of not sitting on ceremony by using their soup bowls like a teacup, consuming the warm broth in record time.
The fierce use of the fork, so like a decisive counter punch to the slow-witted Police prosecutor in the Magistrate’s Court, gives flight to the well-baked button potatoes and pieces of chicken, which sometimes land in the whisky of their neighbours. The deafening clatter emanating from the tables drowns the feeble efforts of the scribe to bring order to the unruly proceedings.
Bring different
Those who with great efforts of concentration manage to catch the words of the speakers realise that a lot of ribald, off-colour things are being said about the more successful lawyers, a profession now moulded very much in their own image.
This is not a place for brilliant word play or subtle innuendo, things associated with gatherings of the legal fraternity in other lands. But then, we have always prided ourselves on being different.
Yes, we have devotees who annually pay tribute to Voet. Never mind what Voet would have thought of his following in this tropical paradise island!
(The writer is an Attorney-at-Law and a freelance writer.)
