Ven. Ajahn Brahmavamso shares how to communicate with the most important person

The most important person is the one in front of you. Are you giving your fullest to the person in front of you? Are you looking into the eyes of the person in front of you, recognising them for what they are – a human being who is talking to you about something they feel is important. Are you looking into their eyes when speaking? Are you smiling? How do you communicate with another human being?

“A mind unruffled by the vagaries of fortune, from sorrow freed, from defilements cleansed, from fear liberated — this is the greatest blessing” – Gautama Buddha, Mangala Sutta

By Surya Vishwa 

Who is the most important person? Who? This question was put to a group of business community members and professionals in Colombo by most Ven. Ajahn Brahmavamso Mahathera (known to most as Ajahn Brahm) last Monday at an interaction held at the Galle Face Hotel arranged by the Ajahn Brahm Society under the direction of Ven. Mettavihari. The Daily FT on Wednesday published segments of the talk pertaining to businesses and entrepreneurship. 

The Harmony page which is dedicated to innovating how media communicates and what it communicates, will focus on aspects pertaining to communication and as relevant will interweave the encouragement made by Ven. Brahm to all sectors of society to innovate empathically, including the media.

As this page highlighted in a previous edition, the media often brings to the breakfast, lunch and dinner table the most horrific side of the world. They bring murder, suicide, political corruption, injustice, feuds and accusations of diverse sort and the very salient fact that the earth is fast eroding under us, caught up in our fumes, garbage and the toxic side of our innovations. Yet the media does not focus that the murderer was once an innocent human, that before a person attempted to commit suicide that he struggled to live, that the politician may have been once an idealist teenager, that the spectrum of injustice can be changed by one small action of a single human and that in the quagmire of feuds, a single action of a human trying to being peaceful may be as quickly affective as a person trying to spread suspicion, fear and antagonism. 

So, in this rather crazy world, who is the most important person? A very distinguished audience being faced with this question by Ven. Ajahn Brahm, got it all wrong. Some stated that the most important person was themselves and others said it was the other person.

“Wrong,” thundered Ven. Brahm into his microphone while his audience sat meekly, much like we did in kindergarten in front of our teacher.

“The most important person is the one in front of you. Are you giving your fullest to the person in front of you? Are you looking into the eyes of the person in front of you, recognising them for what they are – a human being who is talking to you about something they feel is important. Are you looking into their eyes when speaking? Are you smiling? How do you communicate with another human being?” Ven. Brahm queried, expressing the fundamental aspect of interpersonal communication that the world seemed to have surpassed in our day to day life. As he helped his audience see, the love, kindness and absence of ego that Buddhism advises is best witnessed in how we communicate with another human being. 

This should get us thinking. How many human beings do we meet in a day who talk to us? Even random meetings. Have we considered that these human beings, like us have aspirations to be recognised, who like us feel hurt, who like us like to feel important, who like us are sensitive, who like us get battered by many of life’s tornados? Do we in our brief interaction with them contribute to making their life happier? Do we respect them with quality attention by dedicating the few minutes that we interact fully to them, listening and seeing the best in them? 

Applying this to media, the question is, the immense potential the media has to communicate in a manner that prevents a human being from becoming a murderer, from keeping up the youthful idealism of a politician (they too are from the society you and I live in and will reflect any chasm in a societal consciousness). A mass media that helps people to see the good in the other and use this as a strategy for inner transformation is a dire need and to fulfil that need possibly a spiritual transformation is the only way. 

The above are ruminations of this writer inspired by the words of Buddhistic wisdom as explained by Ven. Ajahn Brahm in the worth of each human being and how we can contribute to increasing this worth. 

For example, using real life examples Ven. Brahm spoke of his interactions with medical specialists who treated not autism or schizophrenia but the person trapped in that condition who is trying to break free and communicate to us – who insist on labelling them as Schizophrenic or Autistic. 

Mentioning actual cases of near miraculous improvement of human beings with the above condition, to the extent of defying medical science which generally holds that such conditions are permanent, Ven. Brahm mentioned that there was a monk in his monastery who had what was diagnosed as a serious case of schizophrenia.

“If you were to see this monk today you would never know that he had a condition called schizophrenia. He is one of the brightest and most wonderful of monks in the monastery,” Ven. Brahm said. 

The monk concerned had totally overcome that condition, through a combination of meditation, will power, being treated as normal by others and medication where needed. 

“There was this professor who specialised in treating schizophrenia and he was making massive breakthroughs with curing advanced conditions declared as incurable. It was amazing. I met him one day in going to the ward to talk and bless the patients who wanted such a blessing. I asked him the secret behind his medical success,” said Ven. Brahm. 

“I did not treat schizophrenia”

The renowned professor of Western medical science had responded: “I did not treat schizophrenia,” much to the amazement of Ven. Ajahn Brahm.

The professor had gone onto explain that instead he had focused on the rest of the human being. The results were those that shocked the medical world. 

“I am a Buddhist monk but I went up to this medical specialist and put my palms together and worshipped him for what he had done,” Ven. Brahm told his Colombo audience. 

This gets us to think. How much of the time do we focus on the bad aspect or quality of a person, including ourselves? Why don’t we highlight the good? Surely there is some good in everyone, even our worst enemy! If it works to prove that Schizophrenia can be reversed by focusing on the good components of the human eco system then it should work by focusing on the good qualities of a person and helping to strengthening those qualities by paying attention to these.

Autism was also used as an example by Ven. Brahm, based on his interactions. He said that it too was a condition that could be reversed or mitigated significantly – by giving weight not to the condition but the human being. The human who is trying to communicate in his or her way which maybe different to how others communicate.

“Showing love and kindness in communicating with anyone will be a massive transformation and this could lead to many changes,” Ven. Brahm said as the discourse connected to the main theme of innovating. Having shown how love and compassion can innovate upon the clinical medical science to reap unimaginable results he explained that the same premise could be held for anything else including the spread of the Dhamma in the Western world. 

“I have innovated on how Buddhism is traditionally communicated. For example in the Western world if one persists on sitting cross legged which most people find it difficult, then they will not try Buddhist meditation at all. Hence I asked people to sit on chairs if they felt it easier for them,” Ven. Brahm explained. 

What is apparent is also that he has innovated on how to communicate the Buddhist Dhamma to non Buddhist audiences. A Cambridge scholar of physics and knowing well how the world of Western science functioned Ven. Brahm had transcended his birth inherited religion of Christianity and is one of the main influences in spreading the Buddhist religion to the Western world. 

What is important is that he does so without a shred of disrespect or grouse towards other religions. And although adhering strictly to the Buddhist Vinaya that he has learnt from the Theravada Forest tradition in Thailand, Ven. Brahm is known to take himself very lightly, dispensing with the titles and strictures of respect that is traditionally considered as important when interacting with monks. He is also well known for his humour in how he explains complex Buddhist Dharmic wisdom in a simple manner and have won the epitaph of ‘the smiling monk.’

“In the Western world people have hardly seen a Buddhist monk. In such a situation it is important to be seen in public places, trains and trams. Once in an underground train in London, a passenger approached me and asked me ‘Are you a monk?’ I said “yes.” Then she asked me ‘I mean, are you a real one?” I said ‘Yes, of course” he quipped laughing. Then she had wanted to learn about Buddhism. 

It is the path to get rid of sorrow

Asked about the wisdom and appeal of Buddhism he said; “It is the path to get rid of sorrow. 

Ven. Brahm explained that the Buddha had taught that the route to getting rid of sorrow was not to hold onto emotions that don’t assist to liberating oneself. 

Demonstrating by holding a glass filled with some water, Ven. Brahm asked his audience how heavy it would be if he continued holding the technically light half water filled glass. 

“It will be unbearable if I continue to hold it for half an hour,” he said explaining the profound simple fact that dukka materialises in our mind when we do not let go.

“One way you let go is when you forgive unconditionally,” Ven. Brahm explained showing how the principle of forgiveness serves well in both family and business settings. “You have to put yourself in the shoes of the person who has committed the error. How would you feel if you have done a mistake and want a second chance,” he said.

Speaking on the rarely discussed aspect of how profit making of companies is linked to the mental wellbeing of the employees, he showed how empathy has made businesses immensely profitable. 

“Have you heard of some airlines who have developed ‘cuddle seats,’ that help parents, children and family members to travel while being closer to their loved ones? Of course it is not relevant for someone like me,” he said, bursting into one of his many bouts of laughter.

Speaking of possibilities of avoiding a divorce or the sacking of an employee, he reiterated that the best way offices can make staff contribute to the maximum was by recognising that each person wanted respect for the work that they do. 

“You have to consider the staff member in front of you who is working for you. You have to appreciate his work, whatever the level of work that he does, which is necessary for the production process of the firm.”

As Ven. Brahm pointed out that he has learnt in his wide experiences of interacting globally with diverse institutions, that lack of job satisfaction was a major issue which negatively impacted the lives of many people and that receiving a high pay could not make amends for the lack of happiness at the workplace. 

“A CEO of a company can contribute greatly to changing this situation by interacting closely with his employees, probably occasionally doing some of their tasks as the New Zealand airline which recently trebled its profits does – where the CEO of that airlines takes turn at the check in counter, baggage counter and as a cabin crew member. This way, he knows how his staff and clients feel. It will help the CEO to take decisions accordingly,” Ven. Brahm said. 

A mind which is free can be happy and relaxed

“A mind which is free can be happy and relaxed. Happy and relaxed people can help the world better. In business and entrepreneurial settings they can innovate better. This is why the workplace has to create such an atmosphere,” he stressed, speaking also of how great scientists and inventors have had their inspirational discoveries after relaxing their mind in meditation. 

One of the key points shared by Ven. Brahm is how in many parts of the world companies are creating meditation spaces in their offices where people can go and meditate for some time. 

“If this is adopted it will create great and visible changes,” Ven. Brahm said. 

He explained that while chanting had its own share of benefits, Buddhists should practice the Dhamma, whether in their family, office or community. He explained how the practical practice of the Dhamma changes lives not just for oneself but for others as well. At a macro level he showed how each person practicing the Dhamma, being aware of what is spoken, and keeping in mind the non hurting of the other verbally could have a massive transformation. 

Ven. Ajahn Brahm’s speech belongs in every university teaching communication studies and peacebuilding where, while many Western theories are taught, little attention is paid to the Buddhist religion which has benefitted thousands like Ven. Ajahn Brahm to authentically transform their lives.

The wisdom shared by Ven. Ajahn Brahm resonates with the Harmony page which was started five years ago as a piloting initiative with the Weekend FT to innovate on how mass media communicates. Filling a vacuum in print media on topics such as inner reflection, creativity, inner peace, national reconciliation, motivation for life, integrated education, rural entrepreneurship upliftment, plant and forest based knowledge, intangible heritage, traditional medicine, organic farming, arts, literature and comparative spirituality, it is a major privilege for us to have benefitted from the lecture of Ven. Ajahn Brahmavamso Mahathero at the discussion with business community leaders and professionals last Wednesday. We thank the Ajahn Brahm Society and Ven. Mettavihari for the opportunity. 

Ven. Ajahn Brahmavamso educated in Cambridge University in the science stream, is a Theravada Buddhist monk trained in the Thai forest tradition of monastic life and is the abbot of Bodhinyana Monastery in Serpentine, Western Australia. Among his contributions to spreading Buddhism in the world is as Spiritual Adviser to the Buddhist Society of Victoria, Spiritual Adviser to the Buddhist Society of South Australia, Spiritual Patron of the Buddhist Fellowship in Singapore and Spiritual Adviser to the Anukampa Bhikkhuni Project in the UK. 

See also the FT link that featured his encouragement to Sri Lankans to rebuild the country: https://www.ft.lk/front-page/Ven-Ajahn-Brahmavamso-urges-Sri-Lankans-to-rebuild-country/44-748909.