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Wednesday Nov 13, 2024
Saturday, 21 September 2013 00:00 - - {{hitsCtrl.values.hits}}
This was followed by a very educative interactive session engaging the audience in activities with the purpose of sharing knowledge on the topic.
After a talk by the WHO representative for Sri Lanka Dr. Firdosi Rustom Mehta, the audience gathered together for the highlight of the event, the ‘Light a Candle’ ceremony, which was a request by the WHO, in remembrance of those who have died by means of suicide.
The ceremony had been planned to take place for 15 minutes, from 7:45 p.m. to 8 p.m. but more participants wishing to be a part of the event and to show their support were still enthusiastically walking in after 8 p.m. and joined in the ceremony, thereby extending it a little longer. The centre was very pleased with this outcome.
While World Suicide Prevention Day helps to raise awareness, suicide prevention is a constant fight for Sumithrayo. Founded by Joan De Mel in 1974, Sri Lanka Sumithrayo is a government-approved charity that strives to provide emotional support to people who are suffering from feelings of agony and hopelessness. A non-profit, non-religious, non-political organisation, it makes every effort to not only save people who are on the brink of suicide but also to promote awareness in the community to prevent depression and suicides.
Helping by listening
The Daily FT spoke to Sumithrayo’s team about its role in helping people in distress and its approach in preventing suicide. They said that as the name implies, Sumithrayo is a ‘friend in need’. When a person comes to them distressed and needing someone to talk to, they sit and listen; without being judgemental.
“We make them understand that we are with them. We don’t advise or criticise. We can prompt them and give them options, but we don’t tell them what to do. People come here feeling low, depressed, isolated, some feel they can’t cope, many are suicidal; we ‘empower’ them to move forward,” said a senior staff member.
Another senior staffer said: “A person who has troubles can’t share everything with a parent or sibling. Problems are then pent up and suppression leads to depression.”
This is when the problem gets worse; they need to be reached before the suppression reaches the stage of depression which could then lead to the possible final stage; suicide.
Therefore, Sumithrayo tries to take action in the initial stage itself by befriending them and helping them to open up, come to terms with the state of affairs and gain the confidence and desire to cope.
“We listen to them for as long as they need us to, sometimes it goes up to six or seven hours and after they have talked and poured everything out they feel a great sense of relief. There is a bonding between us during that short time that they are with us,” she added.
Noting that a person in that situation badly needs a non-judgemental, thoughtful, caring person to talk to, who understands what he or she is going through, she added: “We practice ‘empathy’, not ‘sympathy’ in our approach.”
The organisation has highly trained volunteers in their centre who work tirelessly using this approach, to help the helpless. Their service is available in Sinhala, Tamil and English and people who need help have the freedom to write, phone, email or come in person. The centre is open 365 days in a year, from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Most of the people who come to the centre are so disturbed that it’s difficult for them to think clearly. Sometimes they talk about a problem for hours not knowing what to do about it. The answer is almost always right there in front of them but the overwhelming burden that they carry clouds their thoughts and blocks out the simplest of solutions.
At times, the staff can see the solution as the conversation progresses and those solutions are often very simple and straight forward but they don’t tell them what to do. They provide the opportunity for them to pour out their feelings, frustrations and worries; they unburden themselves totally and once that is done, they feel relieved and their minds are clear. It is only after this that they can start working on a solution. Until then they just won’t see the way out.
Strict confidentiality
The team did not wish to disclose their identities during the interview, saying that confidentiality is of high importance to all the individuals involved in the centre, whether they are the staff or those who seek counselling, out of consideration for their privacy and safety. Stating that they don’t ask details about the background or even the full names and credentials of the people who they counsel, they explained: “We only deal with their feelings, not their names. Once they leave the place, we don’t try to contact them and only meet them again if they decide to contact us. When we see them in a public place later, we don’t attempt to approach them and make them uneasy. They need their space.”
When enquired about their programs, they talked about their ‘Outreach Team’. Rather than confining their work to the centre, they venture out helping people who need them. They go to schools, colleges, orphanages and basically anywhere that they are needed but only when requested.
That is, they don’t intervene where they are not wanted and respect the privacy of all individuals. They recently received a request to visit a university and a prison. It is sometimes difficult to meet so many demands because they are very busy at the centre itself but with the dedication and enthusiasm of their well-trained volunteers, they have done a lot of productive work for the community.
Dramatising suicide
A very important issue that they wanted to stress on was the media’s coverage of suicide cases. They appealed to the media not to dramatise a suicide. “The media plays a major role in preventing the increase of suicides,” said a staffer. “When a suicide takes place, we request the media to refrain from revealing the cause or the methods that were used to carry out the act,” she added.
Revealing the cause prompts a person who falls into a similar situation to see it as a reason for suicide, where they think this is the escape route. Revealing the methods gives them ideas on how to go about it.
Sumithrayo is very particular about the terminology associated with suicide as well. They do not like the use of the phrase; ‘committed suicide’. The senior staffer explained: “You ‘commit’ a theft, you ‘commit’ a robbery, you ‘commit’ a murder; you do not ‘commit’ suicide. It is not a crime.” The term they prefer to use is ‘suicided’.
She explained: “A person ‘suicided’, not ‘committed suicide’.”
Public understanding
When asked how the public can be of assistance, they said that the public should be aware and considerate of this problem as mental health is a serious issue and they should try to help people who are battling through depression all alone. Depression is an illness and just like any other illness, needs attention. Unfortunately due to the social stigma attached to mental health, people who suffer from these illnesses don’t come out and seek treatment and hence suffer silently.
Treatment doesn’t necessarily mean medical, it could also come in the form of kind words and support from a caring friend or family. It is usually when the person has nobody trustworthy to turn to and can’t cope alone any longer that the tragic step is taken to end it all.
The society must understand why people resort to suicide and accept that ‘suicide prevention is a social responsibility’. Suicide is a complex problem and there is no single cause as it could range from mental illnesses to other factors such as unemployment, academic pressures and family problems. In other words, it results from a complex interaction of biological, psychological, social, cultural and environmental factors. There is no racial, gender or class distinction.
They appealed to the public not to stigmatise the issue and instead to empathise and help people with emotional problems. Families of those who died by suicide are unfairly stigmatised as well and need consideration. The public should join hands and help, rather than point fingers and they should learn to understand the pain of those who have been left behind.
For each person who dies by suicide, there are at least 10 others who failed in their attempt. Although incidences of suicide have decreased in Sri Lanka compared to past years, the numbers are still too high. The community should acknowledge the seriousness of the situation and step in to make a difference.
People who are interested in volunteering can approach Sumithrayo as they provide sound training on how to lend a hand to distressed individuals. At the moment, they are in the middle of training a new batch. “We have a wonderful batch of volunteers, from all walks of life,” said the senior staffer. “Our strength is the solidarity of our volunteer force,” she concluded.
Pix by Lasantha Kumara
