Transcending the ego: Embracing our authentic self for a fulfilling life

 Transcending the ego is a transformative journey that aligns us with our authentic selves and the interconnected fabric of existence

As the ego that kept them separate from the whole weakens, they begin to feel once again that they are interconnected and belong to the entirety. Instead of upholding the ego, dedicating time, effort, and resources to the greater good enables them to finally experience the peace, comfort, and happiness that were elusive until then

By Rohana Ulluwishewa

Introduction

In our journey through life, there exists a profound opportunity to elevate ourselves beyond the confines of the ego. By nurturing our authentic selves, we contribute to the collective harmony and well-being of humanity and the world around us. This article delves into the concept of the authentic self, the emergence of the ego, and how we can transcend its limitations to experience genuine fulfilment.

Authentic self:

Each of us is unique by birth. We all have unique fingerprints, unique shapes, unique innate abilities, and unique traits. Similarly, each plant and animal species in the natural environment also possesses characteristics unique to them. What is the reason for this uniqueness? Not a single living being can create everything it needs for its own existence. To meet different needs, there should be different individuals who possess unique abilities to produce them. Every living thing needs to depend on many other living things for its survival. That’s why nature brings every person into the world as a unique individual. The unique contribution of each person is necessary for the survival and well-being of the whole. 

For the entire system to thrive, each person should utilise their special abilities with dedication for the greater good. Everyone should work for the well-being of the whole, not as independent individuals separated from the whole, but as integral parts of the whole, existing for the well-being of the whole. Each person obtains a unique identity from the distinct qualities they have received. This identity is essential for the existence of the entire system. When a person refers to their identity, they use pronouns like ‘I’ and ‘mine.’ This gives rise to the concept or feeling of self. However, in this context, there’s no notion of superiority or inferiority to others. Therefore, this concept of ‘I’ doesn’t pose a threat to the peaceful coexistence of the whole and the happiness and comfort of the individual. This is known as the ‘authentic self.’ It represents the genuine state of the ‘I’ concept. In this authentic state, the ‘I’ always employs its unique abilities for the well-being of the whole – a holistic way of thinking. Research conducted on young children has revealed that the concept of ‘I’ exists in this authentic state during childhood, as in everyone else. This is why altruistic behaviours are observed in young children. These behaviours are not learned from adults; they are innate behaviours that arise naturally from within themselves.

Birth of ego

As children grow into adults, this notion of ‘I’ transforms into ‘ego.’ The ego leads individuals to believe they are superior or inferior to others, right or wrong, beautiful or ugly, etc., in comparison, thus forming a unique self-image. Additionally, each person develops their own set of ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes,’ such as people, ideas, and opinions they prefer or dislike. These preferences become part of their self-image. These likes and dislikes can encompass political parties, various religious ideologies, economic theories, and nationalistic viewpoints. Depending on the extent of attachment to these preferences, conflicts with opposing views may arise. Simultaneously, when a person considers ‘what I like’ or what they consider ‘mine’ as superior, right, or more beautiful than ‘what others like’ or ‘what others possess,’ the ego strengthens. 

The authentic ‘I’ becomes suppressed and overshadowed by the burgeoning ego. At this point, the individual is driven by desires and fears related to obtaining their wants. Consequently, the altruistic thinking centred on the whole, which the person had unconsciously developed since childhood, transforms into a self-centred, ego-driven mindset. The authentic self is suppressed, and an inauthentic self takes its place. Once the ego forms, much of a person’s life is spent maintaining it, elevating their self-image above others, and safeguarding and nurturing the ego. These attachments become intertwined with their identity. As a result, they perceive harm or honour directed towards their attachments as harm or honour directed towards themselves, prompting them to defend these attachments.

Transcending the ego

How can one transcend the ego? The most effective approach is to critically examine the things being maintained with an open mind (Self Reflection). This introspection reveals the folly of sacrificing time, effort, resources, and lives to uphold the ego. It becomes evident that the ego one protects and nurtures is secretly controlling them, leading to a loss of personal and collective happiness, peace, and comfort. Subsequently, the realisation dawns that individuals are integral parts of the whole and must live for the greater well-being of the whole. By adopting this approach, individuals can attain the peace, happiness, and comfort they inherently possess. The absence of these qualities indicates a deviation from this path. Feelings of sadness then serve as reminders from nature that one’s way of living needs immediate correction. 

As this truth becomes apparent within oneself, things previously considered one’s own, which caused pain to oneself and others, gradually lose significance unconsciously. Little by little, individuals re-experience the peace, happiness, and comfort they experienced in childhood. Moreover, as the ego that kept them separate from the whole weakens, they begin to feel once again that they are interconnected and belong to the entirety. Instead of upholding the ego, dedicating time, effort, and resources to the greater good enables them to finally experience the peace, comfort, and happiness that were elusive until then.

Conclusion

Transcending the ego is a transformative journey that aligns us with our authentic selves and the interconnected fabric of existence. By shedding the ego’s limitations, we rediscover the altruism inherent in childhood and find ourselves contributing harmoniously to the well-being of the whole. In the pursuit of authenticity, we uncover a life enriched with true fulfilment, peace, and joy.

(The writer is an Independent Researcher in Spirituality and Sustainability. He is an Honorary Research Associate at Massey University Palmerston North and author of the award-winning book, Spirituality Demystified: Understanding Spirituality in Rational Terms.)