Friday Dec 13, 2024
Friday Dec 13, 2024
Thursday, 28 November 2024 00:28 - - {{hitsCtrl.values.hits}}
Why do some manage to continue to enjoy life and career while others find it a struggle?
While some thrive on stress, others need help in coping with stress?
Let’s focus on some recent incidents closer to home. Several high-profile youth suicides recently highlight the hidden problems of youth. They were not poor in material wealth but “something else” drove them to that decision. Uncontrolled anger led a pilot to leave the national airline following an incident. Again, material wealth may not have been the driver. It is that “something else” we need to find out. Split seconds can cost lives and/or a career. Material wealth is not the problem.
A challenging question is how far can we push ourselves to progress in our career? Should we even try to push ourselves to the upper limit, risking a break down?
Ex McKinsey consultant Annastiina Hintsa puts it simply, “I went through a burnout. I was very early in my career at McKinsey, and I really loved what I did. I was super engaged. I was one of the people giving their 200 percent, and it was a cumulative effect of little things: sleep debt, ignoring all the warning signals that others noticed.”
The void behind outer appearance?
The emptiness of some of the most successful executives is well hidden. Often it is hidden behind pin-striped suits, expensive cars and luxurious houses. But until I started training and coaching, I did not get close enough to it all. Confessions of some are painful to hear but they are thought provoking. The fundamental question is “Is the career, wealth and expectation defining your identity?”
What are the key drivers and “early warning signals” that will assist in identifying the drift towards this trap? Why do some manage to continue to enjoy life and career while others find it a struggle? The following verses might help us put things in perspective.
“What do people gain from all their labour
at which they toil under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.”
Ecclesiastes 1:3-5 New International Version (NIV)
Strange it may sound but is this not the reality? We plan for projects, initiatives and even companies but often fail to plan for our short lives.
There are some strange things that happen to us as we strive for “achievements” and feed our ego and forget to nurture our well-being. Some of them are quite dangerous.
As we earn and accumulate money, we tend to measure success in terms of a narrow definition of financial wealth. That is money. When money is lost or something money cannot buy (health) is lost, then, unhappiness creeps in. Feelings of abundance may run against the opportunity to enjoy simple but important things in life. Sounds simple? Not really.
Dilemma of monetary wealth
With increased monetary wealth some lose the ability to enjoy/appreciate simple things in life. Satisfaction can only be achieved by material things that money can buy or even by knowing that so much money is available for deferred consumption. Our ability to enjoy simple things like smelling the roses, enjoying a walk, appreciating a relationship, etc. disappear as we view life through the prism of money. The ownership of things that money can buy becomes a goal.
Money feeds ego and ego feeds money. This vicious cycle eats into family, health and inner peace of the victim without his/her realisation, and life becomes too complicated. Ultimately it may even affect the financial wealth one is striving for. Only those who could think beyond money and ego would escape this vicious trap. It is a question of making sound strategic decisions about life based on purpose.
Many have written on work-life balance, but the real issue is work-wealth and/or work-ego balance. Often it is a mirage. Even those who have billions struggle to maintain work wealth and/or work ego balance. At times it is not even for money but just for ego one strives for and sacrifices simple but important things in life.
Lack of understanding of the brevity of life seems to be one of the main problems. Recognising brevity of life helps us to put life in perspective and plan accordingly.
“Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.” – Albert Einstein
Yes, we are here for a brief sojourn and often do not recognise our purpose.
Simplifying life – back to basics
Over the years have we made our lives too complex? Has the social media made our lives complex? Have we allowed social media to make our lives complex and encroach our happiness? The change driven by AI has just begun and are we ready for it? AI will force us to adjust and adapt. It will make life complex for some and it is important to learn how to simplify life.
The key to simplifying life is to find the purpose of life. It is a deeply personal issue. But there are common factors we need to take into account when we decide on purpose. It doesn’t have to be grand or earth-shattering. It can be as simple as being a grateful person, who helps those in need in the community. The most important thing is to find something that resonates with you deeply and gives your life meaning and fulfilment. As life purpose is truly personal, one must identify purpose independent of the others no matter how close you are to them.
Often career is viewed as a goal, but it is not. It is only a means to an end not an end itself. This applies to businesses as well. That’s why it is important to define and get the purpose right first. Once the purpose is defined then goals and objectives can be set within the framework of the purpose.
The overarching weakness is often our inability to realise the limited time we have in this world. Just like between letters B and D there is letter C, we have choices (C) between birth B) and death (D). It is these choices that often put us out of balance. We make wrong choices and allocate disproportionate time to them and fail to allocate time in a balanced way. In summary our choices should be balanced and so should our allocation of limited time in this world.
What is your baseline?
In summary, baseline sets the starting point, while benchmark sets a target and standard. Both are important to measure progress and strive for excellence. When measuring life, one could argue that we should move from baseline to benchmark. That is, define baseline first and then move to benchmark for a given period/stage of life.
Baseline highlights how a person views and acts according to their perceived purpose/essence of life. People often make a mistake to think they truly know their purpose of life. Strangely, even those who know their baseline may act against that and move away. That is to say that knowing and establishing the baseline alone is not good enough.
Some people make significant decisions about their lives and change their baseline dramatically. What we view as a “sea change” is a conscious and drastic shift in baseline.
Some want to change but the intense attachment to the unhappy baseline may not allow them to change. It is a challenge like stepping out of a fast-moving treadmill. Some may change career. Others may change their lifestyle. Some may even change career and lifestyle at the same time. They are likely to experience a period of adjustment and transient.
However, most are not brave enough to leap into the “unknown” largely due to attachment to the “unhappy” present baseline. They will unfortunately live with the “unhappy” status quo. Why? Changing baseline by untangling from a complex life created based on material goodness is a challenge. It requires awareness, sacrifice and commitment to shift from the current baseline and move towards a simple but fulfilling baseline.
The benefits of simplified life are many:
The choice is ours. To cherish a simplified life driven by purpose or to suffer by creating a sophisticated life.
(The writer is a Sydney based coach/lecturer and founder of www.totalwealthplan.com. He can be reached at [email protected].)
