Are we doing the right thing ?

I was getting ready to pay my bill at the counter at a supermarket and had a few goodies in my basket when I noticed a middle-aged person in a sarong just behind me with only one item he had picked up waiting to pay after me. Without hesitation I gestured to him to go ahead and pay before me, and he was very reluctant though he accepted the offer with thanks. When he walked out of the supermarket having paid his bill the grateful expression on his face when he looked back at me gave me a lot of happiness.

Having left the supermarket I was driving back home which is about 300 metres along the main road before I have to take a right turn on to the lane where I reside.

I had switched on my right signal light about 20 metres ahead of our lane and just as I was about to take that right turn a motor cyclist whizzed past my right side, with no indication at all that he was doing so, at least by tooting the horn. It was entirely due to the fact that I was driving at my usual slow speed that the motor cycle did not knock my car and damage it. 

I began to think to myself, what a contrasting two incidents it would have been had the motor cycle knocked the car. When I came out of the supermarket, a completely unknown person was being so grateful to me with his smiling face, which made it a very pleasant occurrence for me and a few minutes later a motor cyclist almost knocking and damaging my car, totally due to his carelessness.

Back at home as I was settling down to have dinner that night, I started thinking of some of the values that have eroded from our society and the various unethical things that many people are resorting to and have started considering them as quite normal. A few instances that I remembered,

While you wait to board an elevator in a crowded building you would certainly have seen so many people trying to get in without any patience or regard for the others, as soon as the elevator doors open.

Are we doing the right thing when we forget the golden rule that one needs to wait until those who are in the elevator get out before we try to get in and that we need to make way for those getting out of the elevator without standing in a way that blocks them.

Also, about “elevator behaviour” isn’t it rude to have private conversations inside an elevator, when there are strangers who do not know you. 

Likewise, shouldn’t we avoid engaging in long conversations, on our mobile phones while we are with a crowd inside an elevator, even if we have to answer a call shouldn’t it be done briefly, until we get off the elevator. Mobile phones and the likes are here to stay and will be a permanent feature of the lives of future generations but there are so many instances that someone meddles with his/her mobile phone while some one is talking to you, or while you are in a group conversation, being totally disrespectful to those conversing with you.

This is something that can be easily avoided if we are mindful and it would be best to excuse and move away to a separate area, if you really want to check a message or respond to one.

It will be best to keep a distance of about 10 feet from the nearest person when taking or answering a call and speak softly while doing it in a public place and also remember to keep it on silent mode while in places like theatres, restaurants and religious places etc where your ring tone can become a distraction to others. 

While we drive,

When it comes to driving a vehicle on a rainy day (which has been a consistent feature during the last few weeks) shouldn’t we be mindful about pedestrians who may get splashed from pools of rain water collected on the roads, while we drive past them. It will always be great if we can slow down while we pass such areas and prevent the by-walkers from such embarrassments.

Shouldn’t we also give way to motor cyclists and let them reach a sheltered area or reach their destination faster, when it is raining. We should always be mindful of the fact that they are getting affected much more by the rain than we who are inside a vehicle.

When we are at the wheel, many of us, very often want to reach our destinations fast but that does not give us the freedom to drive on the wrong lane blocking the oncoming lane of traffic. Sometimes this results in having to abruptly steer across to the correct lane, putting the other drivers in a very uncomfortable state. The best would be to start our journey with an extra 15 to 20 minutes more (depending on the situation) than the expected average travel duration which will make us drive more comfortably while not putting others at risk.

Driving at a moderate speed and indicating your intention of turning or changing lanes and keeping a fair distance between your vehicle and the one in front of you can always turn out to be useful practices. While most of these are simple things among many other ethical practices that can be easily developed it will always require courage to stand up for what is right in a society that has got used to thinking that what is right is what benefits you and not what makes more people happy and comfortable.

(The writer is a founder member of TMC and a former Chairman of TMC Colombo and former President of Chartered Management Institute, UK SL Branch.)