A brave mother’s battle

Monday, 20 January 2014 00:00 - - {{hitsCtrl.values.hits}}

A. Ariana Ohara is a former journalist who has turned her talents to writing, whilst dealing with the upbringing of her son who suffers from high functioning autism and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. In her late teens, Ariana’s foster father passed away. She gave up venturing into higher education and began work as a journalist and thereby continued in this line of work for over 10 years working for both local and foreign newspapers and an online organisation. However, she soon realised she was facing some tough challenges ahead. Her first unexpected hurdle was learning that her foster father was not prepared for death and had squandered his wealth, leaving nothing for the future of his family. "To understand a child with Autism, one has to step into their shoes, think like them, watch them, understand them and then help them understand the world we live in, they are beautiful children with beautiful hearts, very caring and kind but they think different, act different, feel and observe, and they are gifted brilliant even, but only a mother if she tried hard enough will see how special her Autistic child is and if she tries hard enough she can help him achieve greatness." Her second hurdle was when she went into an arranged marriage which broke up. The marriage, completely loveless, left her with a child, a depleted bank account, and trying to rebuild her life and move forward while still being the one earning. Her only happiness as a single parent, in all this time, was her beautiful son Nicky. Her next biggest hurdle in life was when, at age 3, Nicky was diagnosed with high functioning autism and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. She had to give up her journalist position and field work to dedicate one hundred percent to Nicky’s development. With the advice and guidance of counsellors, her days were filled, learning to understand his disability and teach him, using colours, flash cards, objects and anything else she could find. Aside from learning difficulties, autistic children are easily frustrated, and with the added strain of ADHD, if pressured, or they can’t work things out, are prone to violent rages and tantrums. Creative with a photographic memory Once Ariana understood Nicky’s thought processes and the triggers that brought on the raging tantrums, she discovered over time that Nicky was very creative with a photographic memory; he is very insightful and highly intelligent. Whilst he reads well and is now able to study, he is interested, on a broad spectrum of subjects. He is computer literate and loves the challenges that she provides as his education progresses. His writing takes on a dyslexic form and with practice is decipherable. At times Nicky has setbacks where he will completely forget everything for days at a time. On a daily basis, Ariana teaches Nicky using creative visual books that help to enhance his memory, giving him a greater understanding of the world and general knowledge. The introduction of computer tablets and applications has enabled her to download apps that are animated with sound, mental mathematics, sign language, geography, memory exercises and Dolch Words. (Spoken words that automatically assist the brain correct the spelling as his brain cannot spell by sound). Nicky is also learning Spanish, Chess, Karate (to improve his focus and motor skills) and has a love for history and astronomy. As mentioned earlier Nicky is very creative, whether he is drawing, using modelling clay, painting or simply using Lego. As a mother Ariana sees it as her responsibility to make many sacrifices and be patient in preparing a future for her son. Growing up fast Nicky is now eleven years old and growing up fast. His intelligence, progress is monitored regularly as is his medical status. Nicky is monitored through the British Council, where he does his private examinations through Cambridge. Having completed the WIATT exam, which is a test from the UK, which recognises the input and output of Nicky’s brain and how best to teach him in ways he understands. Nicky is currently doing computer studies in graphic design with IDM. Due to Nicky’s needs and constant supervision, Ariana does computer based work from home. She feels the constant hours of teaching and being a single stay at home mum working all hours from her home computer, has allowed her to dream and think about possibilities of building a future for her son, leading her to pursue an interest in writing. ‘Sword of Krynne’ is one of her first novels, which she wrote for Nicky, originally published by UK Lulu Publishing, is now becoming popular after being released as a second edition, by Sarasavi Publishing and online at Amazon.com. It has been accepted and distributed by the main libraries, the British Council and leading book shops. She has completed a new novel, which is an 18th century old fashioned upstair downstair novel set in Newcastle England, a story between the Irish and the British. This particular novel is very close to her heart as once again her son was her inspiration and David who is her closest friend and family, edited this particular novel knowing how much this novel meant to her. Ariana says once Sword of Krynne has caught on, she will give her new novel to the publisher as this is a novel about hard times, the love of soul mates and triumph. Also, Nicky loves books and is learning the art of patience and perseverance. Beautiful children with beautiful hearts It has been a long and painful journey, punctuated by a heart disorder, and the need to move on four separate occasions. Ariana believes that nothing is impossible and there is no shame in trying hard to make something work, sacrifice is a big part of helping Autistic kids, 80% of the work has to be done by the mothers. Ariana says, to understand a child with Autism, one has to step into their shoes, think like them, watch them, understand them and then help them understand the world we live in, they are beautiful children with beautiful hearts, very caring and kind but they think different, act different, feel and observe, and they are gifted brilliant even, but only a mother if she tried hard enough will see how special her Autistic child is and if she tries hard enough she can help him achieve greatness as many Autistic kids have done so abroad. In Sri Lanka, there is no assistance for single mothers with children who have disabilities; this makes the daily grind so much harder. It is Ariana’s dream that she can become successful with her writing and hopefully be able to purchase a place for her family to call home in the very near future. For Ariana, it has been a very tough road but Nicky gives her the courage, as a single parent, to keep trying, no matter what there is always a silver lining and these kids teach us the value of life and appreciation and courage.

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