Pusswedilla’s take on Ranil speech

My dear Acting President Wikrama Nikamsinghe From National List to Coconut Trees and now to the Presidency. What you have achieved with less than 30,000 votes is quite amazing! 

You gave a speech to the nation upon assumption of the Presidency (Acting) till Parliament selects a new one (or re-appoints you. Let’s see, I haven’t decided yet)

Few notes on your speech:

1. Use a teleprompter. Or wear your spectacles. Carrying massive cue cards when you are addressing the nation feels a little like a nursery time show-and-tell

2. You have stopped the usage of the term “His Excellency” that is a good move. I don’t think many people were planning on calling you “Excellency” anyway

3. You said that it is time for people to move on from Party politics and join hands. I couldn’t help but smile at how ironic and moronic that statement was

4. You have said that the Presidential flag is olso not needed and the nation needs only one flag. The nation olways had only one flag. The President’s flag was never in competition with the National one. Olso, this one-nation-one-anything nonsense has a bad ring to it

Anyway, good luck for the next week. A long time ago, I gave you a smoll replica of my chair and said that you can sit on it for as long as you like. Even to my surprise you have managed to wriggle yourself onto the real chair. Your Uncle Dickie must be proud.

See you around

Your friend,

Chaminda Pusswedilla