Who do we not/want to see in the next Parliament?

Those we have voted for hitherto and elected to represent us at the highest House of Representatives for a good 75 years, have left us high and dry with a bankrupt debt-ridden country 

Peculiar 2-2-5

The number 2-2-5 is a peculiar number. It adds up to 9 which is believed to be bad and unlucky and is kept away when starting something auspicious. When one dials 2-2-5 a message comes through the wire: “This number is exclusively for e-channeling. Please note you will be charged Rs. 20 plus tax for a minute.” And we pay Rs. 20 plus tax while listening to jingles and promotional material played by the service provider till we are connected to a customer care officer. Once you are successful in getting the appointment you are told that Rs. 5,000 will be charged. After seeing the doctor and completing all tests, x-rays, MRIs, scans, etc., and buying medication you are done with half of your savings. 

Remember peaceful Aragalaya launched island-wide demanding ‘Gota Go Home’? Gota fled the country and was moving from place to place looking for shelter. Aragalaya continued demanding the entire 225 to go home. At the end 225 elected by us elected a non elected man as the country’s eighth President. Is 2-2-5 not peculiar?

Kepuwath Kola/Nil/Rathu

We are now before another election to elect 225 members to represent us during the next five years. Since 1948, we have been voting for our man and our party in anticipation of some personal gains or/and common benefits. We have been “Kepuwath Kola/Nil/Rathu’. This election is different in many aspects from all the previous ones. Names of all oldest political parties are missing in the ballot paper. Majority of the candidates are young, new, educated and include academics and professionals. Dynasties and key figures in the political arena are missing. All the political parties except National People’s Power are contesting to form a strong opposition not a Government.

In the meantime, ‘clowns’ hold press conferences and add humour. Voter has to think more than twice and carefully before s/he marks the cross on the ballot paper. It is essential to consider the contribution made by each Member of Parliament (MP) whom we voted for to drive the country towards bankruptcy since independence. Your decision would be made easier as most of the known candidates would be behind bars by the dawn of the Election Day.

Bedtime stories

When we were kids our mothers told us bedtime stories to put us to sleep. Kids of rich and affluent parents were told bedtime stories such as Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Beauty and the Beast, The Ugly Duckling, Robin Hood, etc. Bedtime stories told to us from low and lower middle income families were different. They were the stories of Andare, Mahadenamutta, King Kekille, Kewattaya and Sardiel.

Reliving the bedtime story characters

Remember the notice that went viral in social media: “Arrest Sugar Daddy (a Rajapaksa loyalist) on sight for depriving over Rs. 16 billion in public funds to the nation with the 2020 sugar deal”? The Treasury made a loss of millions of Rupees in tax revenue as a result of the Minister of Finance (one of the 225) abusing the power. Doesn’t this remind us how Andare with his son gulped down the sugar spread on a mat put out to dry? Andare amused, tricked and astonished only the king. But, Andares we elected as MPs and their catchers gulped shiploads of sugar and a colossal Rs. 16 billion and tricked the entire nation. Is that all? They also closed a few well functioning sugar factories and sold the others to their catchers for a song.

Since we could not find an adequate number of Andares to fill all the 225 seats in the well of the Parliament, we were compelled to elect some Mahadenamuttas and his Golayas too. We have heard in a bedtime story that one of Mahadenamutta’s pupils noticed one day the moon shining inside a well. He shouted to his teacher and others to inform them that the moon had fallen into a well. They decided to go down the well and bring the moon back. Mahadenamuttas we elected have taken us voters down the well along with the economy until it hits bankruptcy. We are still down in the well enjoying the sight of the moon, while Americans, Russians, Chinese and Indians are launching rockets and spacecraft up into the sky for moon exploration.

Some Parliamentarians elected were descended from King Kekille who rendered judgments off the cuff. Once King Kekille ordered to kill a jeweller who was found guilty by letting an elephant trample him. The jeweller said I am skin and bones and the elephant might get hurt. The King ordered to bring a fat man who happened to be a chef and justice was done.

Parliamentarians descended from the Kekille family do not believe in an independent judiciary and the rule of law. Once they decided to summon Supreme Court and Appeal Court judges before a Parliamentary Committee consisting of those convicted for crimes such as looting, cheating, raping and committing murder to inquire into court judgments. Shirani Bandaranayake, the 43rd Chief Justice of Sri Lanka, was impeached by Kekilles in the Parliament and then removed from office. Kekilles do not trust the supreme law enshrined in the Constitution of the Free, Sovereign, Independent Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka, a land like no other. So, these Kekilles moved to amend the supreme law on 22 occasions within a mere four decades to suit themselves, their family members, their girlfriends, and their catchers.

We elected some Kewattayas too as our honourable representatives. They advise and insist that we import vehicles using the hard earned dollar by our mothers, sisters, wives and daughters slavering in the Middle East. For what purpose? To collect Customs duties to fatten the Government revenue in order to comply with the IMF ruling that the ratio of Government revenue to GDP is raised to a minimum of 15%. What wisdom is possessed by Kewattayas? Spend hard earned scarce dollars to increase Government rupee earnings.

Liberal economy was introduced four decades ago. Our Kewattayas wanted to be the first and the leader in introducing the liberal economy in the whole of South Asia. Whatever the theory and the book say, liberal economy has failed before our own eyes. We were the first to introduce but trailing behind all the South Asian nations at the end. Kewatta MPs boast about being the first to introduce and are silent about the first to fail. They give economic reasons to justify the continuation of the failed liberal economic system and give non economic reasons to justify its failure.

According to these Parliamentary Kewattays, COVID-19 pandemic, tax cut, 30-year civil conflict, tsunami are the causes for the failure. When they do not find reasons closer to home they stretch their radars beyond the borders and find a war in Ukraine or Middle East or elsewhere. They use all 26 letters (fortunately there are only 26) in the English Alphabet to explain the recovery from such debacles.

Saradiel, the highway-man robbed the rich and then distributed his loot among the poor. There have been Sardiel-like among our Honourable members elected by us. They played the role of Sardiel in style and robbed both the rich and the poor. They introduced 10% to rob the rich and Aswesuma to rob the poor.

The Parliamentarians we elected since independence, talk in a language that is not familiar to you and me or to them either. They use terms such as debt restructuring, debt management, debt rescheduling, debt recovery, etc. We who elected them are struggling with getting back the wife’s jewellery pawned. We are racking our brains to earn an extra buck to settle our own debts. Those whom we voted for are silent as to how the country can raise its products and exports to earn an extra dollar to settle the mountain of debt before the nation.

We have heard bedtime stories many years ago. The dominant characters of those stories are real and we voted for them and sent them to represent us in the Parliament. I must say in all honesty I did not have the least intention of insulting our bedtime story heroes Andare, Mahadenamutta, King Kekille, Kewattaya and Sardiel by comparing them to our Honourable Members of Parliament. Those we have voted for hitherto and elected to represent us at the highest House of Representatives for a good 75 years, have left us high and dry with a bankrupt debt-ridden country.

Several party leaders request us to vote for some ‘experienced hands’ at the forthcoming election. Who were these experienced hands? There were porcupines, water buffalos, jackals, monkeys, bears, mice, cats, dogs, rats, raccoons, etc. among these ‘experienced hands’. This is not what I say. If one refers to Hansard, s/he will see these are the names called by Parliamentarians themselves to identify each other.

Are we going to heed to the request to vote for experienced hands and reelect them?

(The writer is former Secretary of the Ministry of Plan Implementation. He can be reached on [email protected].)