Bloody Mary at Dutch Hospital

Dropped in at the hospital for a leisurely evening drink. Strawberry margaritas served in a breezy courtyard and physicians playing ’90s classics were just what the doctor ordered.

The 16th century Dutch Hospital Shopping and Dining Precinct at Fort is a haven for the hale and hearty, perhaps the only one of its kind in the world. On Sundays, a band of young doctors actually play there.

One of the oldest buildings in Colombo has perceptibly come alive. The Dutch built the hospital to care for the officers of the Dutch East India Company. Its close proximity to the harbour meant that seafarers under the weather also found refuge there.

The canal rambling along its boundary made it picturesque. You sneerers can check old paintings. Englishmen, with an insatiate obsession for building narrow roads wherever they set foot, filled up the canal to lay another road.

Try the Canal Row Lane next time you are there. The graveyard shift was creeping up as I ordered a Bloody Mary from a restaurant beside the old mortuary but they aren’t serving it these days.

The twin towers of the World Trade Center, the BOC Tower and the old Ceylinco House, all one-time tallest buildings in Sri Lanka, sketched an evocative picture, sprouting from the background. Remembered an old story believed to be true.

Long years ago when Ceylinco House was the tallest building and Akasa Kade was chef-d’oeuvre of the restaurant scene, a lone man walked up to its balcony, his mind made up to take the fatal leap. On the street below he was momentarily disturbed by what he saw.

A limbless man lay on a rubber mat, laughing frenziedly. His woes seemed nothing in comparison to the fate of the man below. Limbless and homeless, the mendicant found reason to indulge in fits of laughter.

Ashamed of his own thoughts, the man of our story came down. “Oi, I thought my life was doomed and was about to jump off the building when I saw you laughing to glory,” the man confessed, more interested in knowing how this hapless man kept it going in such merry fashion. This was his answer: “Sir, reasons I have much more than you but never do I wish to take my own life. It may look like I am laughing but I’m being tickled to death by an ant in my backside and I just don’t have a way of scratching my butt.”

Seeing and meeting people who find reason to smile while everyone else complains is always a joy. This doesn’t include ruling party politicians. Maureen is a Mauritian, an islander she gleefully says, and islanders are a happy bunch. Watching a joyful islander like Maureen makes me think that Lankans are losing it.

She could amazingly pass off as a Sri Lankan, Egyptian or even an exotic European and that’s no exaggeration. She bursts into laughter speaking about how local vendors turn red when she struggles to respond in their language. She manages to buy the correct vegetables by showing pictures on Wikipedia. So, technology does work in the oddest place.

The week got off to a gloomy start but found sunshine as it progressed. Gloomy weather, contrary to popular belief, actually induces a sunnier mood indoors. More people have sex on wet days, says a recent research. Called the neighbours to find out if that was actually true.

They weren’t really laughing, these sad islanders!

(Dinesh Watawana is a former foreign correspondent and military analyst. He is a brand consultant and heads The 7th Frontier, an integrated communications agency which masterminded the globally-acclaimed eco tourism hotspot KumbukRiver. Email him at [email protected].)