Quick, hit Ctrl+Z

I need to find my old Olympus! The outmoded typewriter is mothballed somewhere in my store room. Any bets that it might not come in handy post-December 21? It seems like yesterday when I’d savagely jab away at the fabled QWERTY key board; desperate to meet a maddening deadline. The fancy key board on my PC is a big yawn from the schmaltzy keys of the old day. And how could I forget the screaming carriage return lever, the loudest piece in a mighty mechanical orchestra?

A passionate affair with my Olympus came to an abrupt and traitorous halt with the advent of the famed IBM computer. I still explode with fits of laughter whenever I recall how a secretary in a walloping frame typed her first line on a computer keyboard. A maestro of huge proportions on the typing scale she was out to impress us as she typed at the speed of a million words per minute but with an eye on the rapidly moving cursor. Just as the cursor reached the end of the line, out of habit she whacked in the direction of the return lever, only for the monitor to fly out of the room.

It’s mind-boggling to think of how we spend much less time doing the same old things, from typing to driving to cooking, which should leave us chunks of time for family and friends. But paradoxically, the human kind is in a mighty big hurry; going nowhere! The modern world’s biggest apology: Sorry, no time!

“No time” is a disease which has reached epidemic proportions. More we attain less we live. We hardly know our neighbours, have fewer friends and relegate too many precious things in life to the ‘No time’ bin. The D-Day if it does come, may just take us back to a time where all we have is time.

The word count on my monitor reads 318; we used to do the counting ourselves. There was no room for mistakes then; it’s a breeze now. But some things never change. I typed with two fingers then and still do. Oh yes, I still look the same, too! Except for an inconspicuous double chin, few extra pounds on the waistline and some grey hair; but I can easily take care of it all.

What can’t you do with today’s technology? Ordered a battery-operated double-chin remover and an instant tummy disappearing formula on E-bay. As for the grey hair I think my wife’s hair colouring will do. Perhaps, I’ll have to buy a different colour. Do you think about it? You can no longer tell the age of a woman? They all colour their hair, 16 upwards I think, drink green tea, and carry 25 different magic formulas in their vanity pack.

Yeah, I just used Ctrl+Z. We can delete and undo more things than ever before. Sadly the Delete button is used wantonly on marriages, too and today’s children take their frustrations out by furiously pushing buttons on their computer games, unleashing destruction upon destruction, as the very foundation of civil society – the family shatters to pieces.

<Delete> Phew, where was I going? It ain’t the time to get philosophical; D-day is still weeks away. It’s the red and green season. Soon, we’ll be singing Jingle Bells, in this world or another. I think I’ll go Skype Santa Claus!

(Dinesh Watawana is a former foreign correspondent and military analyst. He is a brand consultant and heads The 7th Frontier, an integrated communications agency which masterminded the globally-acclaimed eco tourism hotspot KumbukRiver. Email him at [email protected].)