Special weekend package at the Welikada Prison

Opened a mail from a reader, Shenella Senaratne, who runs a salon. She likes the idea of the Mac Index from last week’s column but suggests that Sri Lanka has its own domestic index and calls it the Paan (bread) Index.

Conspiracies have many cousins. This one is about the fate of Welikada Prison’s most famous cell; one that played host to ex-General Sarath Fonseka. Plans are afoot to convert it to a tourist attraction where guests actually pay to spend a night. This full board single cell comes with a few nice ‘extras’ installed for the benefit of its former inmate. Justice Ministry, send your denial to the email listed below.

Tuesday came calling with the excited voice of the amiable Head of CRIB at the other end.

The tone of his voice suggested the call had nothing to do with my credit report, better known as iReport, which any member of the public can and should obtain to verify their true credit status.

“Did you see the ad offering a Mercedes E-Class at Rs. 1.2 m?” Gamini (Karunaratne) said. “You get the body (chassis) first and the engine later, once you catch up with your monthly lease rentals”. As usual, he sounded very serious.

He plans to fix his old Morris Minor engine to the E-Class body.

Called Keerthi Wijeratne, Head of HNB Leasing, to book one myself.

The unthinkable finally happened. The US Government urged that Sri Lanka bashing by Western media must abate, allowing islanders to finally move on from the protracted war which ended nearly three years ago.

“This is war. I know that war is ugly and it’s violent, and I know that young people sometimes caught up in the moment make some very foolish decisions,” Leon Panetta, US Secretary of Defence, said.

“I am not excusing that behaviour, but neither do I want these images to bring further injury to our people or to our relationship with the Sri Lankan people,” he said referring to airing of content of war excesses allegedly by Lankan troops.

The above, is of course, what most Sri Lankans wish for, but the US Defence Secretary’s comments were actually over publication of photos depicting war excesses by US troops in Afghanistan. MOD, please copy.

I am made to believe that airport security in the US is the greatest equaliser of all.

No one, it seems, is immune to rude, excessive pat downs. Bollywood sensation Shah Rukh Khan was among a long list of VIPs to come under the scanner. Now comes news that not even a former US Secretary of State can get away.

Henry Kissinger, who served under two US Presidents and won the Nobel Peace prize for his efforts to end the Vietnam War, was the latest high profile casualty at US Customs, receiving the infamous ‘Full Monty’. The agents, apparently, couldn’t recognise the famous figure.

Here’s a note to anyone who comes in contact with this columnist: You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say or DON’T can and will be used in a scandalous manner by the Conspiracy Desk. No one in their right mind would offer denials or rebuts of any kind.

If you have an interesting anecdote, occasion or story to share, you can keep me posted via e-mail.



(Dinesh Watawana is a former foreign correspondent and military analyst. He is a brand consultant and heads The 7th Frontier, an integrated communications agency which masterminded the globally-acclaimed eco tourism hotspot KumbukRiver. He can be reached via e-mail at [email protected].)