What’s your number?

Numbers don’t lie; sure you knew that one before. But for the profit of the few lamebrains among us let’s deduce for three winks that you didn’t and allow me wax on.

Take our politicos, as a specimen. They make a Liliputian take home and must spend their life’s savings to get elected; just to become faithful drudges for you and me. They can’t afford the fancy clothes we get to wear so we see them in sarong, 24/7 even though detractors charge that the togs do come off sometimes; but really, that’s not our affair.

Few don’t even have time for a wash and carry a red towel around their neck, probably toothpaste in pocket just waiting for a watering hole err, water hole (man, these typos) along the way. Where do they have the time to sit down for healthy chow or work outs in the gym like you? But we are quick to taunt their air-filled bellies. Why this kolaveri? Their income and tax statements will vindicate them. Remember, numbers don’t lie.

One is innocent till proven guilty, yeah you heard that one, too. Show me how many poohbahs have been proven guilty by a court of law. Bum raps on corruption and foul play may fly and yes fly thanks to sour grapes but the numbers tell a different story. BTW, haven’t heard from Dr. Doom lately? We know that ours is a just and zesty democracy when we hear that in the unlikely event that an isolated individual commits an act of lawlessness they will indeed be chastised right after their relegation, as an example to those who still toil away.

Blue-chips don’t turn red, no you haven’t heard this one… It’s all tickety-boo in the business world, too. There may be unfounded allegations of wheeler dealers but where’s the proof? The truth my friend is in their annual reports. Every annual report is checked and crossed checked and comes with the stamp of approval of an independent auditor. Here, every cent is accounted for.

Do you see a column on expenditure incurred on bribes, undeclared duties or any other vices? Conspiracy mongers can bark all day long but as they say the caravan must move on. If you want the truth just take a peek at all the good work these folks do and I am not even talking about employment creation and contribution to economic development. Today’s corporates spend a great deal of time and money on corporate social responsibility, emerging as true corporate citizens. Numbers don’t lie, my friend.

(The phone rings) Hello is this the Conspiracy Desk? This is Ready Or Not We Pick You UP Company. Did you ask for a white van? Sorry wrong number. I gave the caller Dr. Doom’s number. I don’t think we’ll hear from him again. I mean the caller.

I just read that Sri Lanka’s divorce rate is a mere 1.5% of all marriages compared to a whopping 42% in the old Blighty. Marriage? That’s a different story and will go there some other time.

I think we all got a number and we like to play it well. Judging by the number of people who complain it seems like a majority of citizenry is good and law-abiding. Get on to a Sri Lankan road and we see things clearly. While the blame-game goes on unabated it is no joke to see family, the basic building block of society breaking. I sincerely hope that BBS and ACJU can collectively wage a war on what is really Haram in our society.

I think I’ll pray for our country.

(Dinesh Watawana is a former foreign correspondent and military analyst. He is a brand consultant and heads The 7th Frontier, an integrated communications agency which masterminded the globally-acclaimed eco tourism hotspot KumbukRiver. Email him at [email protected].)